Is saying everything that's on your mind the same thing as telling the truth? Or is it just living your thought-life without a verbal filter?
A few weeks ago, I watched the movie, "The Invention of Lying" with Ricky Gervais (from the original UK version of "The Office"). To sum up the plot, Gervais's character lives in a world where everyone always tells the truth, until Gervais tells the world's first lie -- hilarity ensues. This movie got me wondering about the role that lies, partial truths, withholding of information, and all other forms of questionable "truthiness" (for all my Colbert Report fans) play in our day-to-day lives. What would happen if we actually lived in a world where we lacked the ability to lie? But let's rewind the tape for a second: "lacked the ability to lie." Maybe this is where the conversation should begin. Lying, just like singing, seems to be viewed by society as an ability, albeit a negative one (and some would even argue with that assertion). Let's rephrase that question: what if we lived in a world where everyone told the truth (the whole truth and nothing but) all the time?
We've all been told by our mothers that, "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." Why then in this movie, did the truth come across as so mean? Does it reveal some inherent nasty/judgmental streak in all of us, which lying or filtering our thoughts serves to cover up? Think about how we smile and laugh with people we can't stand to be around, but haven't told them what's really good. Think about the hundreds of judgmental, critical, snarky thoughts/comments that pass through our heads on a daily basis that we simply never verbalize. What would happen if we let them loose, would our world be better or worse off for it?
I wondered as I watched the movie, does lying make the world go round? Does keeping our negative thoughts/intentions to ourselves really make the world a more pleasant place to live or just give it a nice appearance? Where do you draw the line between telling the truth and giving out too much information? Wouldn't life be more transparent if we actually knew exactly what the people we interact with are thinking/feeling/seeing/plotting while we are talking to them? This form of "extreme truth telling" would put everything out in the open, but it seems that is exactly what we are most afraid of, and therein we find the entry point for lies. But what exactly about ourselves, our thoughts, and actions are we trying to hide?
I understand that we all need to keep certain things in reserve, but must we lie to do so? Living your life as an open book means that everyone you meet will know where you stand, but it also means that both well and ill-intentioned individuals get to read your story. I was raised to believe, however, that honesty is the best policy. I think of it as a sign of respect for yourself and others. I'm reminded of the novel/movie "Kite Runner," where the main character's father tells his son that stealing is the worst possible crime. In the context of this blog post, lying is equivalent to stealing someone's right to the truth -- and I find this to be a powerful analogy. The truth sets us free, whereas lies dis-empower...
As there are many types and levels of theft, we also have multiple forms of lies: white lies, black lies, etc. and even "benevolent lies" that supposedly do more good than harm. Funny how there is only one type of truth, and any deviation from it renders it completely tarnished. But are lies only spoken? Can we also lie with our actions? With all these different avenues for lying, how and when do we tell the truth? Perhaps in the following situations:
1) Speak the truth when asked
A few weeks ago, I watched the movie, "The Invention of Lying" with Ricky Gervais (from the original UK version of "The Office"). To sum up the plot, Gervais's character lives in a world where everyone always tells the truth, until Gervais tells the world's first lie -- hilarity ensues. This movie got me wondering about the role that lies, partial truths, withholding of information, and all other forms of questionable "truthiness" (for all my Colbert Report fans) play in our day-to-day lives. What would happen if we actually lived in a world where we lacked the ability to lie? But let's rewind the tape for a second: "lacked the ability to lie." Maybe this is where the conversation should begin. Lying, just like singing, seems to be viewed by society as an ability, albeit a negative one (and some would even argue with that assertion). Let's rephrase that question: what if we lived in a world where everyone told the truth (the whole truth and nothing but) all the time?
We've all been told by our mothers that, "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." Why then in this movie, did the truth come across as so mean? Does it reveal some inherent nasty/judgmental streak in all of us, which lying or filtering our thoughts serves to cover up? Think about how we smile and laugh with people we can't stand to be around, but haven't told them what's really good. Think about the hundreds of judgmental, critical, snarky thoughts/comments that pass through our heads on a daily basis that we simply never verbalize. What would happen if we let them loose, would our world be better or worse off for it?
I wondered as I watched the movie, does lying make the world go round? Does keeping our negative thoughts/intentions to ourselves really make the world a more pleasant place to live or just give it a nice appearance? Where do you draw the line between telling the truth and giving out too much information? Wouldn't life be more transparent if we actually knew exactly what the people we interact with are thinking/feeling/seeing/plotting while we are talking to them? This form of "extreme truth telling" would put everything out in the open, but it seems that is exactly what we are most afraid of, and therein we find the entry point for lies. But what exactly about ourselves, our thoughts, and actions are we trying to hide?
I understand that we all need to keep certain things in reserve, but must we lie to do so? Living your life as an open book means that everyone you meet will know where you stand, but it also means that both well and ill-intentioned individuals get to read your story. I was raised to believe, however, that honesty is the best policy. I think of it as a sign of respect for yourself and others. I'm reminded of the novel/movie "Kite Runner," where the main character's father tells his son that stealing is the worst possible crime. In the context of this blog post, lying is equivalent to stealing someone's right to the truth -- and I find this to be a powerful analogy. The truth sets us free, whereas lies dis-empower...
As there are many types and levels of theft, we also have multiple forms of lies: white lies, black lies, etc. and even "benevolent lies" that supposedly do more good than harm. Funny how there is only one type of truth, and any deviation from it renders it completely tarnished. But are lies only spoken? Can we also lie with our actions? With all these different avenues for lying, how and when do we tell the truth? Perhaps in the following situations:
1) Speak the truth when asked
2) Speak the truth when the situation dictates
3) If you decide to speak, you should say exactly what's on your mind.
Adult's in training, what do you think about the role lies play in our day to day lives? Can we live in a truth only society or do lies play a necessary and integral role in making society function?
Peace,
Nii Ato
Adult's in training, what do you think about the role lies play in our day to day lives? Can we live in a truth only society or do lies play a necessary and integral role in making society function?
Peace,
Nii Ato
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1 comment:
interesting blog...or am i just saying that? kidding! my mom caught me lying once. i was expecting a punishment and instead she told me wtih complete calm, 'that's fine. you can lie to whoever you want, people will eventually learn you're a liar and it won't matter. just promise me that you will never lie to yourself.' (first of all, how scary is it when women and moms who you expect to be angry are all collected and calm!) more importantly, it's true people (myself included) are unaware of how much they lie to themselves--about what they stand for, what they want, and how much they are capable of. lying to others is inconsequential in the long term: people who are real know right away that you're lying, and peope who are fake don't care. lying to yourself on the other hand, uh uh...not a good plan. thanks again for the brain food nii ato, my faith is restored. :)
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