Where Are All the Good Ones...?

Some of my boys have been actively wondering where all the intelligent, beautiful, down-to-earth women are hiding these days because they just can't seem to find any. I'm sure many of you ladies are also wondering the same thing about the fellas. Now, A-i-T is mos def not about to become a dating or matchmaking website (especially given my previous posts: The Game; Who Does Online Dating Work For?), but I wonder, how do we rectify this situation? How do we get quality people that we know and love to meet and allow what sparks may fly...to um...fly?

I like to think that my network of friends comprises an interesting, diverse, intelligent and eclectic group of amazing people. This is not to say that they should all start dating each other (a little incestuous), but I'm sure some great connections could be made, either directly, or could lead to some promising introductions. I just wonder what's preventing such great group of people from meeting other great people?

I get worried sometimes that some of my friends are starting to get jaded because of the current difficulty they are experiencing making the right connection. I think the worst part is that most of them aren't necessarily doing anything wrong. They are not one date wonders, they are not socially awkward, or pretending to be something they're not. Perhaps the answer is to just do what they are doing, but differently...? 

I read a great article in the August 2009 issue of Men's Health Magazine entitled, "She's Out There," (by Kyle Western) which I think dropped some great knowledge regarding the modern dating scene. It debunks the myth of the bar/club pick up (sorry fellas) and sheds some light on the places where people can truly meet and make a connection and how to get it done. Granted this article is written for an exclusively male audience, I believe it reveals some universal truths, which boil down to three things... 

Actively meet new people, go to new places, and try new things...it sounded to me like through enriching your own life and experiencing new things, new people will inevitably come your way...as new friends, acquaintances, and possibly the man/woman you've been waiting for may just happen to be in that record store in another neighborhood that you've never bothered checking out. This always seems "easier said than done," but have we become to busy, too preoccupied or even too comfortable to get out of our normal routine? 

The article cited a Northeastern University study tracking the movements of 100,000 cellphone users over 6 months found that almost 50% did not travel outside of 6-mile radius within their town/city. 83% stayed within a 37-mile radius (I guess this includes driving cities and the suburban areas). People tended to spend the majority of their time in five or fewer places!

Thinking about it, it's so true...we spend most of our time basically circulating between home, work/school, and neighborhood spots like the gym, grocery store, and our favorite coffee shop/restaurant, with the occasional run to the bank or dry cleaner. We are pure creatures of habit, so it seems we need to shake things up! Put plainly, if we stick to the same routine, our dating pool might as well be of the inflatable kiddie pool kind -- but what is the alternative? Sometimes we like being in our little neighborhoods and our little coffee shops. Is it okay to keep going to that coffee shop till you meet the one? Or is it time to step out?

Fellow Adults-in-Training...what do you think?

Peace,
A-i-T