Who Am I and What Did I Do...?

On my way to visit a friend the other night, I passed by a group of about 20 people setting up to sleep outside for the night on the sidewalk in front of a store. No tents, no sleeping bags, many didn’t even have the typical woven sleeping mat – their bed was the cold, hard concrete and the cloth they wrapped themselves in. Here am I driving in a car that I didn’t buy, with food in my stomach that I didn’t cook, and a roof over my head I will be returning to that I don’t rent or own but can live in as if it were my own. As these thoughts paraded through my mind, I thought to myself – “Who am I and what did I do to deserve the life that I currently lead?”

I recently finished reading the latest Malcolm Gladwell book, “Outliers.” This book helped put into sharp perspective for me that a lot of the comfort, achievement, and success, that I (and many of us) enjoy today came not as a result of anything that I did, but a combination of blessing (some say luck/fate) and the work of those that came before me. A lot of who I am and what I have today came as a result of being born into it – the work contributed on my part? In the grand scheme, virtually a drop in the bucket. But this is not to say that I haven’t worked hard -- little drops of water makes a mighty ocean – all of us are contributors at our own level.

The book talks about how inherent advantages, life chances, etc. can cause two people with the same capabilities to have completely divergent life outcomes. It explores random factors such as being born during a certain part of the year, coming of age during a particular time-span in history, having chance access to a new technology, etc.. These seemingly innocuous factors can contribute, purely by chance, to a skyrocketing trajectory for some, and a merry-go-round ride for others.

As many of you know, I come from Ghana. We are a nation with great potential which we are steadily working toward, but one thing we still struggle with is the creation of a true middle-class. Right now, to be frank, you either have or you don’t. This is a story that is true around the world – there may be more money in industrialized nations, but the income inequality can be just as stark. I remember my father sitting me down one day and telling me outright; “You are lucky. The fact that you can wake up and get in a car [albeit a nice one] puts you in a different position that a vast majority of people in this country [Ghana], and in this world.” How do you react to that?

This piece is not meant to be a guilt-ridden confession or change manifesto, of an advantaged, college educated, middle-class man. It is rather a wake-up call to remind myself not to get lulled into a state of self-satisfied smugness where I rest on laurels that I only partially earned. I was born to two highly educated parents, who in their own right have achieved quite a bit. They both come from a stock of education and achievement that afforded them their life chances and a somewhat predetermined path to success. I’ve been to good schools and was EXPECTED to go to college. I was even EXPECTED to attend grad school. And here I now find myself traveling an already well worn path, which my progeny will undoubtedly walk as well.

I count myself as blessed, and the trick is to remember it as I go about my day-to-day life…thankfulness and humility go a long way...

Adults-in-Training, we all come from different backgrounds and have taken different paths to where we are today, but do you recognize the blessings/luck/advantages in your life?

Peace,
A-i-T